I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
