I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
