I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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