He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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