How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
