if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
