Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize