my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I am spending my child support on dildos
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
