the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
