Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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