She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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