he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
