I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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