can we get nightvision for the apartment?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
