lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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