I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
