WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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