You're a womanizer and a bitch.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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