I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
