Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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