i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
