she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
50% drunk capacity currently
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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