I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
