He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
