We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
