so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
