he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize