Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He has the fingertips of a God
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