went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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