Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
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