i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
