my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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