Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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