Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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