We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
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