All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize