she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
