the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
