I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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