Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
So many bounce houses so little time
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
