so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
