every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
