TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
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