so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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