I swear she didn't look like that last week.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
