He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize
