So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
