ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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