Pappa wants mamma naked
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
