If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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