if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
