apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
