Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
