you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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