Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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