good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize