I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
