Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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