SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
