remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
