Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I need moral support for this bender
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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