My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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