she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
