U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
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