I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
