If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
