I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
That's how pantless uber rides happen
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
