you would pick up someone in the library
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
