so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Randomize
