We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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