doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
