I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
