i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize
