Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
