jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
