It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
