i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Reggie can tackle my bush.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
