I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
